Self-Empowerment Daily with Al Duncan

"You are guaranteed to win once you defeat the enenmy within because... It's ALL Mental!"  -- Al "The Inspiration" Duncan

Here's something to help you out with your new year's resolutions or any goal:

• According to research, you are 80x’s more likely to achieve your goals if they are written down. Put it in writing.

“Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve.”  -John Oliver Killens

Whether it’s quality time, playtime, game time, family time, me-time, real time, study time, daytime, nighttime, wrong time, or the right time, one thing is for sure- sometimes it seems as if life is all about time, doesn’t it?

Time is a state of mind. Don’t believe me? Of course you do. You know the truism ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. And you know that the last 15 minutes before you get off work can seem like 15 hours.

You also know the old adage- treat everyday as if it were your last. Sage advice indeed, but for most people this is a lofty and unsustainable state of mind.

There are a few principles, however, within reach that can help you to ‘use your time wisely’. (Okay, I promise- no more over-used clichés about time.) 

What we’re going to talk about has nothing to do with time management in the popular sense. This is all about your perception of time. The way you treat and think about time.

Most people are always trying to find time. But the thing is- it’s impossible to find time. It doesn’t work that way.

You can find your keys. You can walk down the street and find some money. But you can’t walk down the street and find an hour. You don’t go to the lost and found when you’ve lost precious time.

You do not find time; you make time.

One day I was sitting in front of my computer completely engrossed in my work. Suddenly, I was snapped back into reality as Renee, my wife, walked into the room.

She playfully asked, “What about me?”

“Huh? What do you mean- what about me?”

“I would like some quality time.”

Five minutes later, feeling slightly ambivalent, I pried myself away from my work to fulfill Renee’s request.

So what was the result? A great evening and now we’re expecting our first child!

Million Dollar Question: Did I try to find time for her?

No. I made time for her. There is always:

• Another speech or talk to give.
• Another article to write.
• Another client to coach.

And on the less productive side- there is always:

• Another TV show to watch.
• Another movie to watch.
• Another nap to take or sleep to catch up on.

So with all of your priorities and things to that “need“ to be done, how do you make time? One word-

Sacrifice.

People love Gray’s Anatomy and missing an episode would be blasphemous! A workaholic, like me, giving up work time- sacrilegious!

Well, ten years from now the fact that you missed an episode, or two, of your favorite TV show won’t have any effect on your life. Neither will sacrificing a little bit of work time for family time. (No- watching TV when you should be working doesn’t count as sacrificing.)

How about the marriage saving time you could’ve spent with your spouse?

How about the book you could’ve finished, the networking event you could’ve gone to, or the part-time business you could’ve started?

What about the life changing conversation you could’ve had with your child?

Make time.

Make time for the people you care about. Make time for your hopes, dreams, and aspirations.

“But I just couldn’t find the time.”

What a pitiful excuse. I know you’re better than that otherwise you wouldn’t have made the time to read this article.

Sacrifice and enjoy the rewards. 

One of the most popular movies of all time is Walt Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. The Beast, who used to be a prince or something of that sort, had great difficulty in controlling his manners and his anger.

 Although there was a charming gentleman inside of him who knew the right way to behave, Beast often felt powerless and believed that there was little he could do in regards to his behavior. After all, he was a beast, right?

Eh…not quite.

Many people have a similar problem. They think things like-

“Well, that’s just how I am” or “What problem? I don’t have a problem.”

Why do people do this? Because it’s easier to make excuses about behavior than it is to change behavior. Think about that.

Taming the Beast is no joke. Therefore, before we talk about these 9 keys for mastering your anger, here are a several things you should know:

a) It’s not always the anger that’s the problem; it’s the behavior that accompanies the anger.

Suppression and over expression of anger are two different roads leading to the same destination. Complete suppression can destroy relationships, lead to bad health, and ruin outcomes in similar fashion to over expressing anger.

b) If you have serious anger issues then some of these keys may be difficult to use on your own. If so, you may need to see a coach or a therapist.

c) If you’re reading this with the intention of helping out a child or adolescent, it’ll be helpful if you read Young and Angry, which will be posted soon.

The starting point for mastering your anger is the same starting point for bringing about many types of change. It begins with…              

1. Awareness and acknowledgement

You probably already know that when a person has an addiction or behavioral problem, getting them to acknowledge the problem can be challenging.

Awareness is the foundation of self-empowerment. If a person wants to tame the beast, he must acknowledge that his anger management is something that needs to be addressed.

Recently, I was talking to Chef Tim, a good friend of mine, and he reminded me of a catchy phrase from G.I. Joe: “Knowing is half the battle.”

So, if you are reading this article in order to deal with your own anger issues then kudos to you; you’re half way there.

On the other hand, perhaps you are reading this article with the intention of helping someone else- someone who isn’t aware that his anger needs to be tamed. If so, then it’s a good idea to send him a copy of Blind Spots, an article about developing self-awareness, Emotions and Your Health: Anger or both.